I wrote Part I over three years ago. That's when he entered my life and I had no idea why. As I said, there's always a tragedy waiting in the wings. And his tragedy comes tomorrow at 9 am. (It's nice when tragedy comes on a schedule, because if you're paying attention, you can avoid it!) And even though he pulled me into his life and made me stay there for three confusing years, he didn't listen to me when I warned him not to go. And now I just have to wait for him to take this leap off the edge and hope to God that he lands on his feet (or only breaks one leg). I hope that, even though he didn't listen to me, that the words I said will play back in his head when he needs them most.
I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't scared. When I first knew it was coming, I was terrified. Then mad. And now, resigned. It seems that this is his destiny. Believe me, I did what I could to change it. It just seems weird that I was pulled into his life for just this moment and then was summarily dismissed when I tried to help. But to be honest, I don't believe he pulled me into his life. There was another force at play here and that force is just as scared as I am.
All I can say now is "Via con Dios."
Thursday, February 2, 2012
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