Friday Night

This is what a fun Friday night looks like to me. When you own a 1940s condo, clogged drains are common. This time it snuck up on me as I was trying to use the garbage disposal. That caused all the water and waste to come out at the washing machine. The washing machine is tightly fit into the corner of my kitchen. In order to move it, you have to take the dryer off first. The dryer is not so heavy, just a little bulky. After I was able to move all that, the gross water that was all over the floor was a joy to clean. 

I decided to change the water connectors since the machine was in the middle of my kitchen. I had to go to Home Depot for those. 

So I got to move my washer and dryer, go to Home Depot, install new connectors and clean up smelly water from all over my floor. If that doesn't scream fantastic Friday night fun, I don't know what does.

And you know what I might get to do for a fun Saturday? Snake my drains. I'm saving that for tomorrow, because I don't think I could handle all that excitement in one day.

I live the life. 

And might I add that this is one of those times when I don't appreciate being single. A little help would go a long way in a situation like this.

Less Than One Minute

So after my computer debacle, my new computer has finally arrived. Actually, I'm buying my old work computer and taking it home. But now I have to sit and wait for the files to copy over. And Apple has this annoying time bar that means nothing. It's been on "less than one minute" for over an hour. It's like a cruel joke. Well, it is to me because I have the patience of a gnat.

Although I must say my patience has been tested many many times lately and I've maintained my cool and I think I have passed many of the tests:
- I've been over a month without a computer at home and I have managed just fine.
- People are telling me the 5DII has humidity issues and it's all water off my back.
- I can talk to a boy I have a big crush on without freaking out or wanting to kill him.
- My computer is taking over 2 hours to copy files and I'm surfing the net.
- I had someone read my cards and they told me that my life is going to suck until at least June and I haven't jumped off a bridge. I'm waiting until June to make that call.

See, I'm doing well. Even though Apple is really giving me a good test today. All I want to do is take my computer home and turn it on! But I'm stuck here at work writing this blog waiting for that one eternity of a minute to pass.

It could be worse, my hair could be on fire.

I'm a Girl

I know I complain about being a girl. I find in infuriating at times. However, for all of you out there who forget it sometimes - I AM A GIRL.

Don't brag about how you would "hit that" when you are hanging out with me. I don't want to hear about somebody's "rack" or any other female body part that you find attractive on a passing girl. Don't call me fat or point out some other body flaw and expect me to laugh it off. Don't ask me to laugh at stupid dirty jokes - I know the penis is funny but it's not funny as the punch line of every joke. And finally, if I have a super big crush on you and you know it, don't make me look at and comment on pictures of you and your girlfriend having a great time.

See, what's going to happen is that I am going to forget that I am a girl and let you have it. Then I'm going to have to calm down and remind you once again, that I really am a girl.

This is How I am Going to Die

So one cold night I am leaving work by myself. It's below freezing and I'm half jogging to my car. A lady runs up to me and asks me if I know where LaPorta's restaurant is. Well, I do and she's a good 6 or 7 blocks away. She's just walked 6 blocks in the wrong direction to run into me at this intersection. She's a little hassled and it's important to note she is carrying a neatly folded down, brown paper bag.

I figure she is late to something and I can pass that restaurant on my way home, no big deal. So I offer her a ride. She's grateful. She says that she is performing there and she's already late. Well, it will only take us 5 minutes tops to get there.

As I'm driving she slowly reaches down for that brown paper bag, and the first thing that went through my head is "this is how I am going to die?" For a moment, I envisioned her reaching for a gun. I'm not sure how a lady would carry a gun, but a brown paper bag is a good a carrier as anything else I suppose. We were only 1 block away from the restaurant it seemed silly to kill me now. In fact, she was just grabbing the bag and sitting up. The bag may or may not have contained a gun, but she didn't shoot me with it.

And after I let her out at the restaurant, I thought to myself, that probably is the way I am going to die — while doing a favor for a stranger.