I'm Such a Girl

And I don't mean that in a good way. Sometimes being a girl drives me nuts — the illogical thinking, the butterflies over a boy, the PMS. For somebody who likes to be in control of everything, these girl traits really piss me off. I'm sure they serve some purpose, I just don't know what it is.

Maybe I would feel better if I could take some testosterone and beat the crap out of somebody. Seems to work for men. 

Left and Right Tampons

Okay, I'm a little scattered when I'm watching TV. I half pay attention. It can really annoy some people. You need to know that to understand why this tampon commercial confused me so much.

There I am watching the spinning tampon, thinking something other than, "wow, I need tampons right now." And up pops an "L" and an 'R" on the screen. The half of my brain that is watching the TV is immediately confused. Left and right? When did that become necessary with tampons? Left of what? Do I have the right parts? Did something change in women's anatomy in the last few years when I wasn't paying attention? I mean nobody told me my parts were any different than anybody else's. 

Honestly, this is all running through my head in those 20 seconds or so. It takes me about another minute to figure out it was for Light and Regular. It was a multi-pack of tampons. Phew, at least I don't have to learn a new procedure for using those left and right tampons.

Wedding Dresses

For an older single woman who's probably not going to get married, I own a lot of wedding dresses. I buy them for photo shoots, not because I'm nuts. Although that's subjective, of course. Talea is modeling one of the dresses in the photo.

I figure I can start using them to scare away my bad dates. All I have to do is show them my closet full of wedding dresses on, say, the second date and I think I can guarantee that I'll never hear from them again. And if I keep adding more cats to my house, I think I'll be single forever. I mean what guy can't resist a woman with plenty of wedding dresses and cats? However with my dating luck, that would probably just encourage the wacko to ask me to marry him and move in with his 50 cats.

Don't Buy Stuff from Friends

Remember that broken computer that I could heat up with a hairdryer to get to work? Well, I gave it back to the friend who sold it to me because he wanted it. GAVE it back. And now we are fighting about it. If anybody can get my goat, it's him. The repair person told him that it was a "crock of shit" that it could be started with a hairdryer, so my friend feels the need to immediately call upon leaving the repair shop and tell me in no uncertain terms that the hairdryer thing was a crock of shit. I'm sorry, what? The method I've actually proven to work is nothing but a crock of shit? I get that you may think it's stupid and shouldn't work, but considering that's the only way my computer would start for the last week, I would think you wouldn't call my method a total crock of shit — like I just made it all up. And I would especially think that if I'm your friend, you'd find a more sensitive way to tell me that you think my ideas are a total crock of shit. (I really can't stop saying the phrase "crock of shit.")

Nothing irritates me more than people telling me that things I know to be true aren't true. I have had my share of people try that crap on me. I don't know if it's because I'm short or a woman or just look like the biggest idiot in town, but people try this crap on me more times that I care to count. And they are unprepared for the wrath that follows. For a small woman, I am able to unleash a big wrath. And I'm able to hang onto it for days and days and days. It's either a curse or a gift, who can say, but it keeps people from trying this kind of crap on me twice.

I'm not talking to my friend right now. And I don't plan to for a while. I'm certain that he's going to try and defend this point of view rather than apologizing for hurting my feelings and I don't need that. I have no need to prove to him or some random repair dude that the computer would start with a hairdryer. And I have no need to be belittled or told I'm stupid and wrong. It really boggles my brain how people choose to treat their friends and how little sensitivity there is in the world. It makes me think I'm wasting my time considering other people's feelings before I say what I have to say. Just wasting my time.

Oh, and the lesson I learned from this: don't buy stuff from friends. It decreases the chances of messes like this from happening. I can say with certainty that I'm not buying anything else from that friend. This whole fiasco makes me feel like I'm the one left holding the crock of shit.

Tools to Start Computer: Hairdryer

This is funny. My G5 that I bought used from a friend is dying. For the last two days it wouldn't boot up. It was given me three blinks on the power switch and not booting up. I searched the internet and found out three blinks is RAM. So I took out all the RAM, rearranged it, tried every configuration possible and it still wouldn't boot. I cried a little, but not too much. I knew the hard drives were both fine. But I had no idea what the problem could be.

The next day at work (bless work with it's free computer and internet!!!) I read on a forum that using a hairdryer to heat the area around the RAM will allow your computer to start. So tonight I tried the hairdryer trick and it worked. Really. One minute blowing the area around the RAM with the hairdryer and the computer starts right up. Who figures this stuff out? I would have never guessed that heating up my motherboard with a hairdryer would make my MAC run.

So now I'm copying all my files on to external drives and praying the machine lasts for a while. I also read that this only works a couple times for some people so I want to make sure I get everything I need off this machine tonight just in case.

I'm trying not to blame my friend for selling me this machine which also has had a video card die on me. It's a bad machine, not because of my friend, but because of Apple. There's a reason the first generation G5s didn't last long on Apple's lineup. They suck. And now I own one that I have to use a hairdryer to run. Great. I imagine soon I will own a new Apple machine and I can retire the hairdryer. And I won't make my friend feel bad every time the machine does something that pisses me off.

I'm off to backup a few more files. 

I Give Up

Honestly, I just can't do it any more. I know there's a big karmic lesson for me to learn in the next couple months. I just know it, but I can't wait for it. I have the patience of a gnat. Actually, it might be even smaller than that. So I give up. Look universe, just tell me what the damn lesson is and I'll learn it. (Unless it's patience, then you can keep your lesson because it's not for me.)

And to all those people out there who have something to say to me, just say it. I can take it, I'm a big girl. I know somebody is hiding something from me. I know it. It's driving me nuts. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure I can handle whatever it is.

Sure, that's not the way the universe and people work. For some reason they don't conform to my timetable and demands. Man, that pisses me off. You don't think that's the lesson, do you?