I'm Such a Girl

And I don't mean that in a good way. Sometimes being a girl drives me nuts — the illogical thinking, the butterflies over a boy, the PMS. For somebody who likes to be in control of everything, these girl traits really piss me off. I'm sure they serve some purpose, I just don't know what it is.

Maybe I would feel better if I could take some testosterone and beat the crap out of somebody. Seems to work for men. 

Left and Right Tampons

Okay, I'm a little scattered when I'm watching TV. I half pay attention. It can really annoy some people. You need to know that to understand why this tampon commercial confused me so much.

There I am watching the spinning tampon, thinking something other than, "wow, I need tampons right now." And up pops an "L" and an 'R" on the screen. The half of my brain that is watching the TV is immediately confused. Left and right? When did that become necessary with tampons? Left of what? Do I have the right parts? Did something change in women's anatomy in the last few years when I wasn't paying attention? I mean nobody told me my parts were any different than anybody else's. 

Honestly, this is all running through my head in those 20 seconds or so. It takes me about another minute to figure out it was for Light and Regular. It was a multi-pack of tampons. Phew, at least I don't have to learn a new procedure for using those left and right tampons.

Wedding Dresses

For an older single woman who's probably not going to get married, I own a lot of wedding dresses. I buy them for photo shoots, not because I'm nuts. Although that's subjective, of course. Talea is modeling one of the dresses in the photo.

I figure I can start using them to scare away my bad dates. All I have to do is show them my closet full of wedding dresses on, say, the second date and I think I can guarantee that I'll never hear from them again. And if I keep adding more cats to my house, I think I'll be single forever. I mean what guy can't resist a woman with plenty of wedding dresses and cats? However with my dating luck, that would probably just encourage the wacko to ask me to marry him and move in with his 50 cats.