Perm Smell in House

Tonight when I got home, my home reeked of perm. I was pretty sure the cats didn't give each other home perms while I was out because I can't get them to do anything when I'm away (darn those lazy cats). I thought maybe my neighbor gave herself a perm, but the smell seemed awfully strong for a neighbor event. Ok, maybe my pipes were a little smelly. Perhaps, that happens in these old condos with the old pipes.

When I searched the internet, which is full of wisdom and insanity, for perm smell in house, I found this answer:

"Oh my dear people. Did you ever stop to consider the smell is being manufactured by your brain? as a result of negative energy? I experienced the internal gas smell recently, and also suffered from it around htis time last year. I was not in the same place either time. However, there were extreme lifestyle changes coming into play. For now, the smell has subsided, but only due to walking int he ocean and working on releasing the negative energy. I know this sounds really whack! .. but just open you mind to the possibility! It would have been much easier if it was a fume from my house or car .. but I'll make it through the smells this time too!"

So I can honestly the say that the whole time I was searching my house for the awful smell, I never once thought my brain was trying to tell me that I had too much negative energy. I was confused as to why my brain was telling me somebody got a perm in my house while I was away at work, but I was positive my brain was telling me something was stinking up my house!

As I sat in my hallway tying ribbon to an umbrella, that's another blog post, I heard a hissing in my portable battery pack. Turns out the sealed battery was leaking and causing that awful sulfur smell. 

So now I have a battery to replace. And while I'm at it, I'm going to get rid of all my negative energy. I figure it can't hurt and it might turn my life into a sweet-smelling journey. Although I'm certain my cats will remain forever lazy no matter what I do.

A River Killed My Sister

About a year ago, my sister fell into a river and drowned. I walk a lot by rivers and every time I look into that water and wonder, "Can this river kill me?" I guess the answer is always yes since they say you can drown in 1/2 inch of water.

I don't have a huge fear of rivers. I still walk on the edge and sit on the rocks than line them but I can't do it without thinking of my sister. She actually fell off a rock after having her picture taken. I'm sure she never imagined she would fall off that rock and die especially since she was an avid hiker; but now that's what I imagine each time I step on a river rock. I take a little extra time to make sure my footing is solid and that the rocks are stable.

This picture is of Rock Creek. As I was walking along I saw a sign that warned people of strong undercurrents and I knew for sure that this river could kill me. But it didn't and for that I am grateful. It allowed me to walk along the edge and stand on the rocks and take this picture. I survived taking this picture. Strangely, my sister wasn't as lucky on her last hike to a river.

I guess I tell you this as a warning, be careful on the river's edge. Admire it's beauty but know that it is stronger and more powerful than it looks. And, just for the heck of it, tell your family that you love them; it can't hurt.

All Things Considered

I'm doing ok. People come and go in your life and it's up to you to make sense of it all. But sometimes there's no sense to be made. You just have to let it wash over you and become a piece of you.

My sister passed away in December, four days before Christmas. I found the whole ordeal rather surreal. I describe it this way, it feels like somebody picked me up and placed me down in a parallel universe where everything is exactly the same, but nothing is the same at all. What makes it feel even more surreal is that my mom went into the hospital in October and came out with congestive heart failure. My sisters and I all had to come to terms with the fact that my mom could die. My mom didn't die and she is, in fact, recovering. But then somebody did die. It's a weird twist of fate that makes you wonder what game the universe is playing.

I can't really describe the feelings, because I don't really understand them all just yet. I'm strangely sensitive. I cry more easily at the strangest things. I suddenly understand what to say to people during their time of great loss. And even though I feel an emptiness, I also feel a greater connection to the world around. But that connection is not strong, just stronger than it was.

I don't talk much about it. There's a lot about the whole event that I would like to let go. It was a crazy time for my family and it took everything I had to keep sane. I'm afraid there may be a time in the near future when I have to go through it all over again and I doubt my ability to survive. But you can't live your life in fear, you just go on like everything is the same, but different.

So all things considered, I'm doing ok.